Chapter 3: A Door Cracks Open: An Unlikely “Yes”
I politely dismissed myself from Pastor Huesmann’s office as I began my conversation with Pastor Kueker, a recruitment officer at Concordia Seminary. His tone was closer to a caring pastor than it was to a college official. I instantly felt comfortable in the conversation.
“We received your inquiry submission over the weekend. We are thrilled that you are feeling God is leading you into the ministry. Why don’t you tell me a bit about what brought you to this realization.” Pastor Kueker began.
I explained to him the fact that I had always known God would be leading me into the ministry, eventually, and how that had played out in my decision making over the years.
“It sounds kind of silly, but this past Saturday I just… I just knew with complete clarity that it was time for me to pursue this.” I concluded.
“Wow… that is intense, have you talked with anyone about this?” He asked
I hadn’t just talked to anyone, I talked to everyone! I thought to myself. I had spent that entire afternoon calling friends and mentors asking them their thoughts. In fact, I specifically asked them to talk me “off the cliff”. I had figured, of all of those phone calls I had made, at least one of the people would say “don’t throw your career away.” But to my astonishment, none of them did. In fact, everyone I talked to said they did not think there was a career they could more vividly picture me in than that of a pastor. By the time the evening came, I was sitting on the couch having called everyone I could think of, realizing that I was even more convinced then that I needed to do this, than I had been that morning…
Now, I realize you may at this point be thinking: “wow, congratulations Tyler, you spent a whole afternoon deliberating before you made the decision to end your career. Good work doing your due diligence…” If you are thinking that you’re absolutely right. This was, for all intents and purposes, ludicrous. Believe me, I recognized at the time how ludicrous it was. Prior to this, I spent 9 years in law enforcement. If I had a penny for every time I heard “but I spent 20 whole minutes thinking about _____ before I did it and I didn’t think anything could go wrong!” I would have retired at 22!
Gear and my personal patch from my time in law-enforcement.
Still, I knew in that moment that my life had shifted. Even if I did ignore this feeling and continue with flight training I wouldn’t have the confidence or excitement. I would feel like I was running away from what I was “supposed” to be doing. I knew I had to follow through with this and see what God does with it, even if it is simply Him providing for me, a knuckle head who chased after a “strong feeling” (and I can’t honestly say that isn’t how all of this played out). Either way, as this story unfolds I hope to show you how God’s fingerprints were everywhere throughout it, anyway…
I explained all these things to Pastor Kueker who was intrigued but, like Pastor Huesmann, assured me that if I concluded that this was not what God was wanting for me right now, I would not be swallowed by a great fish and dragged to my proverbial Nineveh “kicking and screaming” (my words, not his). He then offered that he would love to start working with me to register for the 2023-2024 school year at Concordia Seminary. I knew that couldn’t happen.
“I know this is going to sound crazy, Pastor, but I really feel like I need to go to seminary now, I’d like to apply to start Summer Greek this year [2022], with the class starting in just a few months…” I said wishfully thinking that he would simply say “sure, sounds great let’s do that!”
“Well, we kind of have a problem with that one, Tyler.” Pastor Kueker began in a compassionate but firm tone, “the registration deadline for this class closed over a month ago, and it really should have closed over a month and a half ago, but it was extended for a couple of students we were already in contact with. I’m afraid you cannot apply to come to seminary this year.”
“I was worried you would say that… and I’m guessing there’s no way possible to reopen it so I can apply? I realize that I’m stepping into the unknown with all of this, so if this is a closed door that’s fine, but I have to know it is not possible before I close the books on it.” I responded feeling a bit defeated.
“I can ask my supervisor about this and see if it’s possible, but the deadline is there because registration is a lot of work and takes a lot of time. Even if we did open it for you, you’re coming up on other deadlines in the registration process that, being this far behind, would be close to impossible for you to meet.” He said thoughtfully.
“Please ask. If nothing can be done for this year then I understand, but I need to know for sure that it isn’t an option before I stop trying.” I replied.
Pastor Kueker said a prayer with me over the phone and then we ended our conversation with a severe cliff hanger. He told me he would get back to me “as soon as he could” but that I should be prepared that his answer will be the same. I began to hope that he would get back to me before Wednesday… maybe this was the closed door I needed to “stay the course” with flight school. It’d be great to know this door was closed before I started a process to which there was “no going back”.
Would this be enough to let me kick this feeling and go on with my career? I wondered to myself. I wasn’t prepared to answer that question, at the time. I had spent my entire life praying that God would show me when it was time to go to seminary and here I was, feeling that it was the time. Can I honestly quit this pursuit just because one door is closed? I pondered, But this is a major door. If I can’t go to seminary for another year, maybe I should just stick with flight school for this time, keep a dialogue with the seminary and figure out after I get a little further into the program if I can get rid of the feeling that I’m supposed to be doing something else. My mind was a whirl with all of these things circling round and round endlessly. I went back to Pastor Huesmann’s office and told him about the conversation. He and I prayed together again then I headed home.
I paced back and forth at the house all afternoon. As I went, I kept getting phantom vibrations in my phone, wondering when (and if) the seminary was going to call me back. Lunch came and went, no calls. The afternoon walk occurred, no calls. Dinner preparation went underway…. still nothing. I began to give up on the idea that he was going to call me back that day and resigning myself to the fact that I’d have to go the night in suspense when finally, after 7 or so hours of waiting, thinking, and pacing, my phone began to ring. My heart leaped when I saw that it was the very same 314 number I had spoken with earlier in the day.
“Hey Tyler,” Pastor Kueker began, “I hope you like sprinting, because the race is about to begin. The Seminary has agreed to allow you to apply for this upcoming semester. I want you to know this is extremely uncommon. Anyway, starting tomorrow, we have a lot we are going to need from you. For starters, there are three tests you will need to take: one on New Testament literacy, one on Old Testament literacy, and one on Lutheran Doctrine. You will have three chances to take and pass each test (passing grade is 70%). You’ll be given access to these tests tomorrow morning, the deadline for your first attempt at all three is April 1st…”
I about began jumping up and down. The door to the seminary was open, do I walk in? Can I? It was March 28th, 2022, which meant I had 3 days from when I would be given access to the tests to begin my first attempt. I read my Bible daily and have been Lutheran my whole life, how hard could these tests be? I thought to myself. I profusely thanked Pastor Kueker for working with me and assured him that I was up for the challenge. I ended that day in a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation, my first roadblock had been cleared. Now, the unknown of my future was just slightly less foggy than it had been. However, this was only a minor victory amidst the many, many challenges I knew still lay ahead of me such as: what in the world are these tests going to look like, tomorrow?...
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